Everything in life is easier to do if you do it daily.
Want to learn a new language? Practice daily.
Keep your house in a great state? A few minutes a day every day.
Learn a new skill or interest? Create the muscle memory daily.
Fitness? Move your body. Yes. Every day.
However, for the longest time I thought you were a total flake (by which I mean *I* was a total flake) if everything wasn't done every day.
If I don't walk the dog every day, I'm a failure.
If I don't blog and message every day I'm a failure.
Except this past week I was thrown for a loop. That thing happened where something knocks you off your perch.
*Everything* went out the window.
My insomnia flared up.
I wasn't eating well.
My joints and muscles ached and I couldn't concentrate.
In point of fact, this is the first blog/email I have sent to you in 6 days. And again this morning I found myself putting it off, letting that little voice creep in and tell me what to do.
'You haven't emailed in nearly a week, I bet everyone will have forgotten you. They knew you were a fraud to begin with. How can you talk about stress and burnout when you threw everything out the window for a week and stopped doing what you're supposed to do? You're an embarrassment. A fraud. A loser.'
Even now, I keep stopping. It's like I'm having to drag this thread out of me because right now, it would be so so SO much easier to hide. To not blog. To not reach out.
You've done it, right?
Had a really bad day at work, gone down sick or even taken a mental health day. And then the fear rises up. The resistance. The worry and doubt.
I remember doing this after falling down sick six months after my mum died.
I had been signed off work for two weeks and then last few days of my sick leave I was, ironically, sick with nerves.
They're going to hate me, how can I go back, I can't do this.
Here's what I know now that I wish I had known then.
- Shame, worry, doubt, fear... they aren't real. They are a product of your sympathetic nervous system and your brain rationalising all the ways in which you should keep yourself safe. If you don't stand back up, no-one can knock you back down again. Right here, right now, make the decision: are you going to live your life full of fear and worry, or are you going to accept failure as a part of success? Then get back on your feet.
- It's none of your goddamn business what other people think of you. You might be worried about whether you're still a good girl who does the right thing, whether people are judging you, whether they think you're a loser. It's NONE of your business what other people think. You can't change their minds by will or jedi mind tricks so let it go. Stop worrying about it.
- You're not nearly as important as you think you are. I say this with absolute love but when we're worried about a situation, we suddenly create ourselves as the centre of this new universe. In balance to number 2 above, people are probably not thinking about you NEARLY as much as you think they are.
- And even if they are, see 2 above.
- The strongest people have to fall. That's what makes us strong.
I talked to my Resilience Revolution clients about this last Thursday night.
We have this inherent belief that failure = loss. That not getting what we want right off the bat means that we are failures.
What if you remove the fear and judgment from failure? What if 'it went wrong' becomes not the end of the story but the beginning of the next chapter, titled 'how I can improve next time'?
What if you stop judging yourself for getting it wrong and instead congratulate yourself on discovering a new way it doesn't work? For finding another way to look at a problem and discovering that there needs to be more work?
The Thomas Edison quote is thrown around a lot, but he was resilience in action. His view wasn't that he had failed to make a lightbulb 1,000 different ways, but that the lightbulb was an invention with 1,000 step.
Every single time you fail and pick yourself back up, you've discovered a new step on your path. I can learn so much from the past week including contingencies, new ways of dealing with physical and emotional stress, and all of those are presented to you.
After all; Searching for Serenity wouldn't even exist if I hadn't fallen flat on my face and picked myself back up. Every failure I experience is another opportunity to help YOU to get it right.
You're welcome :-D
Learn to ride the wave, to experience the pushback without letting it push you off. In the words of TSwift who is currently playing on my Spotify, shake it off.
Keep learning to ride the waves until one day, it's simple muscle memory. Every single day you get back up, shake yourself off and start again, asking yourself 'what can I learn from this?'.
You get to do this. Isn't that wonderful?
PS Have you reached your own crunch point, your own moment of giving up and wondering if you can even go on? Maybe you've considered handing in your notice and getting a job in a pub or temp work because you just don't know if you can keep doing what you've been doing any further.
I get it, I've been there. This path that you've chosen to walk isn't easy. You're choosing to rise above the crowd and it's a scary place to be alone sometimes.
Before you quit, before you give up, before you sit with your head in your hands wondering how you can even go on, I want to ask you something.
How do you want to feel instead?
My private clients come to me when how they want to feel and how they live their lives are no longer in concert. They want to feel happy, free, light, joyful, energised and whilst they love their careers, they no longer want to live their lives AROUND them.
I now have limited places to start working with me 1:1 in 2017, and the investment point is rising by 50% at the end of December.
If you've reached the point of knowing that you can't keep going the way you are, it's time we start working together 1:1. 12 weeks of unlimited support, training and guidance from me, 6 hour long video calls. And right now you can get started for only £237 down and spread the cost over 6 months.
As I said, places are limited, message me via Facebook or email firstname.lastname@example.org to find out more.