Crash Course to Boosting your Confidence
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Hello everybody and thank you for joining me for the Searching for Serenity 7-day tutorial, The Crash Course to Boosting Your Confidence at Work.
For those of you that don't know me already, my name is Leah, I am the founder of Searching for Serenity which is a mentoring practice for professional, heartfelt women who are struggling with issues of overwhelm, exhaustion and burnout.
The intention behind these courses is to help you develop the career and life that you love, and to give you the skills that you could have developed over the next 10 years of your career, but without the trial error.
These are the skills that no one teaches you. We all learn our times-tables and how to tie our shoes but no one teaches you how to keep going when you are struggling and exhausted or when you feel you are doing an ok, alright job. You are doing amazingly and you are going to do even more amazing things. You have your whole career in front of you; you are going places, you are going to change lives and you are going to take other people with you. But you need to feel confident when you're doing that, even when (especially when) times are tough.
So, taking the last decade of my experience of working in law, working with people in the most vulnerable positions in society to captains of industry, I had to develop my confidence very quickly.
I will tell you a story that I certainly don't tell most of my clients in law.
I am the kid from the single parent family, one step removed from a council estate, whose family has never been to university, the first person in my family to study at a graduate and postgraduate level. One day, at a work-experience placement, one lawyer in particular told me 'well, you're trying to cross a lot of socio-economic boundaries to become this person, aren't you!'.
That's not what the kid who had to get the free bus to school needs to hear.
Developing your confidence at work is partly trial and error (and we are going to go through this this week) it's also about the skills you can use, the tricks that you need to keep you going even when the shit hits the fan, but it's about internal rather than external validation.
Over the course of 7 days you will receive by email a daily video, audio and transcript, for five to ten minutes a day. Read the transcript/watch the video, whilst you are on your way in to work and then immediately start implementing what you have heard. Keep it in your heart throughout the day.
Each day the skills will build on the next until we get to the point where your confidence at work is soaring! These are the skills that I have used with my clients, that I have helped other people to implement, and have used myself to keep my confidence going, even during difficult times.
So, let's get straight into it shall we?
Confidence at work is a tricky thing. Confidence tends to come with years of experience, but in order to get the years of experience you need the confidence to get there!
I think we all know that person at work who does amazingly; really strives for more, flourishes under pressure and still bakes cakes for the whole office.
I hate that person!
However, this is about building your confidence so that you feel that you are that person who is gliding along the issues, who is calm and confident and poised and whilst you might not always have the answers, you always know where to go to find them.
So when dealing with confidence at work, the first thing (and it's not an innovative thing at all) is 'fake it til you make it'.
This is a tricky thing to do sometimes because, how do you fake it, when you don't know what it looks like?
I want you to take time today to look around your office, look at the people around you. Who are the people who appear confident?
It is important at this point to strike the difference between confidence and arrogance.
Confidence is an internal, poised state of being where the individual is able to talk to others, able to bounce around their ideas, even make jokes, but they do not push other people. Arrogance pushes other people and makes other people feel small and that person will then take up the space from the person they have made feel small around them.
Confidence is worn lightly and is worn close to the skin. It is a state of being that you can see but cannot always describe (as you can tell from this video!) but I want you to look at the people around you and see how is confident?
Who is clear about what they are doing and doesn't hesitate, or if they do it's for a well-considered reason.
Who in your office or organisation, in your career so far, would you want to emulate. Then consider what it was about this person that you want to emulate?
Were they calm under pressure? Did they always have a smile for the people around them even when it was a difficult day at work? Did they manage to help other people even when you could see they had lots to do? Did they bring levity and fun to the office during difficult times?
Whatever it was that you admired I want you to note it done. Grab a notebook for these seven days and scribble away in it, because this is going to be the thing you come back to time and time again.
Consider the qualities of the people around you that are confident, are leaders, who inspire you rather than being oppressive or overwhelming. Consider those qualities and how you can emulate them. The first step in faking it til you make it.
Perhaps there is someone two desks down from you who ends every call with a big sigh, letting go of the tension and on to the next thing with a smile. If that works, copy them! Not to the extent that they think you are stalking them, but emulate what it is you admire about them!
Start taking those things and internalising them. Start believing that you can not only be as good as that person but better, that you can inspire people, help people feel better about themselves, even when you feel a little bit crappy on the inside. And that is the fake it til you make it. These are the qualities that you will draw on even when you are having a crappy time of it.
Make that list today, start considering who you would be if you were confident, if you were the boss, the person that others come to for support and training.
Take those qualities, break them down and we will start to implement them.
I will be back in your inbox tomorrow with another video, where we will be looking at some more hands on techniques. But for today, we will start building your roadmap to confidence, and tomorrow start implementing it.
For today, just remember: you are seeking help and guidance. That is the most important thing that almost anyone can do in their career, to seek mentorship and guidance.
I am proud of you and I want you to feel confident and proud in yourself!!
I will be back in your inbox tomorrow but in the meantime I would love to hear from you and how you are getting on. Join the Searching for Serenity Facebook group; it's completely private and full of other women who are seeking the support and guidance that you are and also provide you with that support and guidance. The are travelling the same path as you.
I will be back in your inbox tomorrow but have an amazing day in the meantime.
Take care of yourself