Crash course to boosting your confidence at work
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Hello and thank you for joining me for day 2 of the Searching for Serenity 7 day video tutorial series, The Crash Course to Boosting your Confidence at Work.
So how did you get on with yesterday's task? I would love to hear from you what is and is not working for you as we go through.
Today's topic is something I touched on very briefly yesterday but I am going to get straight into the topic today: negative self-talk.
Confidence at work, at home, will only ever be undermined if you are thinking anything but positive thoughts about yourself. There are plenty of opportunities for learning and self-growth but for this week I want you to really examine your internal monologue.
If you sat in an annual review and were given three pieces of positive information and one negative, knowing what I know about you, you probably focused on the one negative.
We are going to counter that negativity by considering your own self-talk. Do you easily become embarrassed? Do you often think that there is more that you could/should have done or that you could have been more prepared?
If so, we need to start thinking very clearly every single time you think a single negative thought about yourself, any of the could/should/ought-to language, you counter them.
You wouldn't talk to me this way; you wouldn't talk to your best friend this way, so why are you saying them to yourself?
I know that you are, because if you are as ambitious and heartfelt as I think you are then you are constantly struggling for more, and that means identifying where there is less and where you can do more. That isn't a negative per se - unless you internalise those comments and start truly believing them.
I would ask you to give credit where its due and whenever you think badly; I should have done that before, I must do more, to think of a phrase that you can repeat to yourself, such as an affirmation or mantra.
For example if I did (and I do!) have issues with my timekeeping I could think 'I'm so lazy I can't believe that
I've let everybody down again' or I could repeat (as I do!) 'My relentless optimism as a person means that I sometimes underestimate the effect of others and of traffic'.
Is it a bad thing that you have identified something to improve upon? Of course not! But they have to be genuine spaces for improvement, managed in a sustainable and self-loving way.
For today, each time that you think something negative, or something other than complete positivity about yourself, I want you to not only think the absolute reverse of the negative statement; I'm so useless becomes
I am so amazing, look at how far I've come. Not only repeat them in your head; write them down.
The more ways and the more often you repeat these statements the more likely that the positive self-talk will become ingrained and the negative beliefs ebb away.
I have introduced this at this stage because I want you to start to see the effects over the coming seven days and, if you practice, you will start to erase that negative, overwhelming self-talk. There is a place for self-criticism and constructive criticism but it is not in your head, all day, every day.
That's all I want you to do for today. It might seem like a very small thing but if you can master it, and that is why I have brought it in at this stage whilst you still have support from me, then you will start to see your confidence improve and the way that you speak to other people improve. Yu will have a more positive attitude and readily available positive language for yourself and others.
Keep a notebook of each positive thing that you say to yourself, take the negative and flip it completely and feel into positivity as you do. Keep writing these down; there is evidence to show that this will work.
A short and simple one for today but keep going, this will work well for you over a long period of time.
I will be back in your inbox tomorrow morning. Have an amazing day.
Do come over to the Searching for Serenity group if you need more support or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if I can help in any way.
Bye for now.