This is one of those moments when I really do wonder what I've been doing all my life that I haven't shared this much content, in this format, before.
I have studied resilience for years now; I first became interested when I was told by a manager that she believed that I was incredibly resilient. Until that day I had never really considered whether I was resilient; I was so deeply entrenched in the negative view of myself, that I thought I was stupid, that everyone else was smarter than me, quicker than me, more loveable, that everyone else had their shit together and I was the only one who was struggling every day.
So many of my achievements in life have honestly been in spite of myself instead of because of who I was.
So I started looking into resilience. I had studied psychology years before and had a natural tendency to examine my legal clients, figuring out where their strengths were, how they would hold up under pressure, how far they could go.
Resilience as a concept has only recently evolved beyond the belief that you either had it or didn't.
Now of course we know that resilience is a set of skills and behaviours that you can build and cultivate, it's a practice, like learning to tie your shoelaces or braiding your hair (or maybe you didn't know this already, in which case, buckle up, you're in for one hell of a ride!).
So why do you need resilience?
If you're reading this page then it's because you have already struggled with exhaustion, overwork, falling ill repeatedly, maybe even being signed off sick for a long period with anxiety, depression, an auto-immune condition. Perhaps you've gone through a really tough period, being made redundant from work, struggling with bereavement of the breakdown of a relationship and you just feel DONE. Exhausted, overwhelmed, in perpetual struggle and, if we are completely honest (it's ok, it's just you and me here) you're feeling a big victim-y, a bit pathetic, sometimes you even annoy yourself with your complaints and upsets.
You just want it to be easy. No, not easy. You want ease. Because you've never really known anything to be easy in your life.
You are a perpetual over-worker, a striver, an achiever. You have been told over and over again by friends and family members and colleagues that they have no idea how you do it, that they are in awe of you (or maybe they don't say it, but we both know that they are thinking it). Sometimes it's spilled over in to jealousy and frustration; those same people tell you to slow down, calm down, stop working so hard, you're going too fast, well of COURSE you're tired when you work all those hours *tut tut*.
But now you're here. And it might simply be that you've noticed that you're not as quick, not as efficient at work as you used to be and you're sleeping for longer than you like. Or it could be that you've reached breaking point and are either on the phone to the doctors or actively looking for another job because you don't think you can handle it.
Everything that has happened to you, in your life, up until this moment, has been a test of your resilience.
You have an innate level of resilience and my bet is that it's pretty high already. You're the one that everyone else comes to with their problems and you're the one who fixes it for everyone else but feels a bit lost, a bit gloomy, at the end of the week.
And because you fix everything for everyone else, you kind of struggle to tell them your problems, to admit that you're not perfect, or that it's all going wrong. Unless you already have and they've either given you the 'I told you so' speech (tall poppy syndrome in action) or they are equally at the end of their rope and don't know what to do.
Resilience is the thing that gets you out of bed in the morning.
Resilience enables you to keep going when already so many other people around you have fallen.
Resilience creates the fire within you to keep going when, in your darker moments, you want to book a one way ticket somewhere hot and sunny and run away from everything that's making your life messy and complicated.
I used to think that it was a one-way slide. That the bright, high achieving women that I saw bomb out of their careers, had no other choice but to stay down.
Resilience is the set of tools and behaviours that will keep you coming back - smarter, harder, stronger, with more humour, with more energy.
What do I know about resilience?
The more I immerse myself into the research and knowledge of this topic the more I know, with absolute certainty, that this has been the work of my life.
From coping with adversity from the youngest of ages (growing up in a violent, toxic home, struggling with a lack of money, living through an entire winter with no heating in our old, draughty, damp house) to being bull-headed determined when I was outright told NOT to attempt to become a barrister because I didn't have the right background (spoiler alert: I was called to the Bar of England and Wales in 2007), to being flexible enough to find alternatives and to spot opportunities when they arose (I cross qualified to become a solicitor in 2012, predicted upcoming troubles in my area and changed, jumping ahead of mass redundancies 12 months later) to discovering WHY I had coped when others hadn't and also WHY my resilience took a sudden nosedive in 2015 after years of pushing so hard.
(But it's not ALL about me... ish ;-) )
I have spent decades working with people at the most difficult, testing and trying times of their lives; through injury, bereavement, trauma, abuse and breakdown. And whilst I didn't realise it at the time, every single one of those clients was a study for me; an opportunity to figure out what they were doing well, what they weren't.
A funny thought about this whole topic... do you remember when you were at school and you would play with the 30cm plastic rule, holding it on the desk and bashing the other end so it made a funny sound, bounced? Remember how you could do it again and again and it would be fine? That was resilience. Remember the day you smacked that ruler and it shattered? That was your loss of resilience.
However, unlike so-called shatterproof rulers, you CAN put the pieces back together again and be even stronger.
Whether you've had your breakdown-epiphany moment or not, studying resilience will increase your happiness, your health, your critical thinking skills, your ability to problem solve, your ability to support yourself and the people around you.
About the programme
Resilience Revolution is a total 360-degree review. I am giving you everything I have on this topic, through in depth workbooks setting out the information you need, the tools and techniques that you can implement, guiding you through further introspection and examining where you need to do the inner work.
If you've worked with me before then you will know that I don't usually do workbooks - but there is just SO much content I want to share with you. I also know that everyone learns at their own pace and that something I talk about today may not be relevant for you until next week, next month, next year.
That's why these workbooks come together to form the backbone of your own resilience manual, a treasure trove of information that you will return to again and again.
Each week you will receive your workbook and later in the week we will meet as a small group to discuss, implement, go deeper on certain topics and I will of course be available for any questions that come up for you.
Finally, you also get your own private forum to work in, to share in, to ask for more support.
This is a small group programme and places are limited because we are going to be moving at such a pace.
This is the first time I will be running this programme and whilst I will be running this programme again, it won't be until 2018 and, next time around, it will be priced at £497.
But right now, you can jump in for only 20% of that price.
Places are limited to 10 only
UPDATED ONLY 8 PLACES REMAIN!!
Click the button below to get started - we begin on 2nd October 2017!
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What will we be covering?
I'm glad you asked!
As you know, each week you will receive a workbook crammed full of content for you to digest at your leisure, ahead of a live weekly training call where you can ask questions, where we will go deeper in to some of the content and tune up your success.
Week 1 - the foundations of resilience
Where we will look at the theories of resilience and in particular, how resilience is a learned skill. I will go in to depth around the resilience feedback loop and creating this as a skill for you in your every day. This is about getting your foundations in place; knowing what to look for and setting up your daily structure for success. Set your goals and intentions for the duration of the course!
Week 2 - getting laser-focused and clear-sighted
What stops us from realising we are struggling until it's too late? How can you become a total pro at spotting changing patterns in your own behaviour and that of the people around you and adjust course at an early stage, when it's totally easy? Again, of course, this comes down to a daily action but I will also be showing you how to project out over a longer period of time and use your past to predict the future (spooky!)
This is where your self-belief and the intentions and goals you have set for yourself will become key!
Week 3 - Emotional currency
This is a thing by the way. I know that you are a highly intelligent and empathetic woman but you've also learned to work hard and suppress your own feelings and emotions in order to get ahead. Here we are going to put you back into touch with your feelings and emotions, figuring out what is going on underneath them and identifying the needs that are crying out for attention. How to create your support network and structures for yourself.
Week 4 - physical and emotional stress
Whether you are a pro at noticing your trigger points already or still have a ways to go, this is your time for a tune up. By now you will have started to notice some of your patterns of behaviour and we will get them out, label them, manage them and create the coping strategies you need to pull it back to centre
Week 5 Purpose and Passion
This is where we get into the nitty gritty of what KEEPS high achieving men and women successful. We will delve i n to priorities, focus and how these directly impact your energy. Heads up - if you're the woman who shaped her entire life around her career then you NEED this in your life.
Week 6 - Action steps!
Because of course a good plan is nothing without action steps - we will take the intentions and goals, examine, reflect, review and create a sustainable plan for you to move forward. Finally, we will re-hit anxiety and overwhelm as a standalone symptom, because I know that this comes up so often for you.
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