ABOUT THAT TIME I WAS OUTED IN FRONT OF A ROOM FULL OF LAWYERS AND LIVED TO TELL THE TALE

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ABOUT THAT TIME I WAS OUTED IN FRONT OF A ROOM FULL OF LAWYERS AND LIVED TO TELL THE TALE

There's this kind of assumption that comes with being a professional, that our careers are more than jobs.

It's the first thing we say 'Hi, I'm [NAME] and I'm a [JOB TITLE]', like our job titles or industries somehow describe us.

I spent so long working my ass off to qualify as a lawyer and when it happened... there was no particular fanfare or sudden feeling of smug satisfaction. I walked out of the office a paralegal, I walked back in a solicitor. Nothing changed. Not even my salary (ahem!).

Have you had it yet?

That creeping feeling of 'is this it?'.

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If you’re waiting for the ‘New Year New You’ speech…. Well don’t hold your breath!

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If you’re waiting for the ‘New Year New You’ speech…. Well don’t hold your breath!

Honestly, I’m so resistant to even writing this. I’ve been putting it off all day. Even as I’m writing it I’m stopping, kind of willing myself not to share this.

See, all day long, I’ve been receiving emails from people’s mailing lists and seeing facebook posts about how 2018 was so amazing, about what people are planning for 2019, about being the best you yet.

And, enlightened and mindful as I am, I want to smack ‘em all in the face.

Guess how my New Year started?

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Learning to leap

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Learning to leap

Learning to leap

I've never thought I was much of a risk taker. Goody two shoes, never even had a detention, always on the right side of the rules; just this week someone accused me of being no fun at parties because I have a working knowledge of GDPR and what is and isn't permissible (and care).

But what I have learned is that I am a genius at taking calculated risks.

At taking the leap that others simply are unable to.

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This is not my cat…

This is not my cat…

This is not my cat.



It became a bit of a standing joke in the last few years of my legal career.



‘You want a home visit? Do you have any pets? No, I don’t have allergies, I just only visit clients who have dogs. Don’t worry about chairs I’ll spend most of the meeting on the floor’



#professional


Battered and bruised, but not broken

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This week has kicked my ass, fully and thoroughly.


There’s been more emotion than is usual even for my slightly drama queen Leo state. 


Positives and negatives. 

A lot of love and a lot of loss.


And honestly? I feel battered and bruised, physically and emotionally.


I didn’t really acknowledge the brain-body connection five years ago, even though I was an expert in mental capacity and death and loss.


I hadn’t quite realised how much I soaked up other people’s emotions too; I thought it was simply my failing, working in an open plan office and being unable to handle the noise, shut out other people’s emotions.


I didn’t know then that what made me great at my job; empathy, an eerie ability to know what my clients wanted before they even said it, to wrangle even the most angry and upset client into an ally with a common goal, to manage other people’s emotional states, came with a personal cost.


Exhaustion, frustration, never being able to shut off the antenna that scanned for anger and upset and pain, the overwhelm that noise and vast bodies of bodies brings for someone who is attuned to the fine detail.


I thought it was just me, being a failure, never being good enough.


Today I know better. And battered and bruised as I feel, I have an immense toolkit to support me.


Managing my own emotions, an emotional literacy that was innate but now acknowledged. The strength to say no to what is unnecessary and to prioritise my needs; hell, to even know what my needs are! The confidence to speak up and ask for help. So much more besides this.


We’re not born with a handbook of how to cope with grief and loss and struggle and exhaustion; how to balance our needs with that of the world around us, how to bounce back.


We should be though. These skills are not innate, they are not there for all of us out of the box. But they can be learned. It’s my deepest wish to share them with you, to support and guide you through the trials and tribulations.


You’re not alone.

PS Did you think you were the only one stressed and struggling at work? I know you think everyone else has their sh*t together, but I can promise you, there are so many out there struggling alone.

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