I've resisted sharing this all week long, but I've been pretty furious with myself.
Whilst I sit there delivering workshops on resilience and people pleasing, unleashing the Happiness Habit Bootcamp I feel like I've been sitting on a big old secret.
I had to cancel a workshop this week because I was losing my voice.
I have been ill and didn't take any time off sick to rest.
In fact, I lost a day of holiday leave to feeling like hell!
And... I've worked so much overtime this week I've almost been afraid to admit it to myself.
Hence why I've been feeling so ill.
There's nothing quite the like the boom and bust cycle of 12 hour days followed by being unable to do anything but blow your nose and sit on the sofa crying at YouTube videos (not my own luckily, all those 'amazing acts of kindness' 'watch these strangers rescue this abandoned puppy' type videos that only ever pop up in my YouTube feed when I feel at my absolute worst. Spoiler alert: I cry when I'm ill. A LOT)
In the meantime I have been receiving THE most AMAZING messages from my 1:1 clients talking about their big breakthroughs, how they have been implementing all the techniques I've been showing them and how they are actually working.
And I'm over here like.... Huh. Hmm.
So I wasn't going to say anything.
I was going to hide.
Wait for the bad stuff to blow over and then show you how AMAZING everything else is.
Except - how fucking shady would that be?
And isn't that what everyone else on the internet does anyway?
So instead, here I sit at 9pm on a Friday night, typing out this blog of truth, sipping a hot whisky toddy, waiting for a very spicy curry to arrive and reflecting.
I recommend a few moments of reflection every day. Journalling and setting your intentions at the beginning of each day and ending each day with a few moments of reflection and decision making.
And here's what I've realised this evening.
Yes I've been working too much. Don't we all?
But it's been to a purpose. To take time off to rest and relax.
And that means working the extra hours, getting everything in order, being able to walk away with my head held high, knowing I did everything I can to make it easy.
Yes that comes with a sacrifice.
But sometimes it's worth it. It's what makes the driven, the determined, the perfectionists different from the rest of the herd.
But at the same time, I compromised.
I implemented the tools I give to my clients every day (in fact, keep your eyes peeled for the most amazing guide to clearing your desk without losing your mind) and I strategised, planned, prioritised, made it fun and enjoyable, delegated, deferred, deleted and DID with abundance.
I didn't hold myself to the unachievable standard.
I considered the situation I was in and did the best I could.
I worked to a level that made me proud.
I also walked away accepting that I may not have managed everything, that it's possible I missed something, that shit might happen in my absence because that's just the way life it.
It's not planned.
No-one's out to get me (and if they are, there's crap-all I can do about it anyway!).
I believe that the universe works in my favour, not against it, and if I pay enough attention i can learn the lessons that life is trying to teach me.
The more I experience the more I learn and the more I grow. What's not to love about that?
Whatever happens, whatever comes my way, I can handle it.
You can too.
You earned your stripes.
You deserve to be proud of yourself, happy, fulfilled and content.
I'm not going to hide the bad stuff, because it doesn't affect all the amazing, wonderful, joyful stuff in my life.
It doesn't affect my happiness, it only serves to amplify it.
Isn't that a choice worth making?
PS Happiness Habit Bootcamp is here. We start April 1st with a full 30 days of challenges, meditation points, strategies, techniques and weekly live training videos.
There's only a handful of places left at the early-bird half price offer point and once they are gone, then, baby they are GONE!
Grab your place today and access some very awesome bonuses that I will be releasing next week - but only to those of you already signed up ready to go!
Join here: https://searchingforserenity.satoriapp.com/offers/116485-happiness-habit-bootcamp