Fear and shame are powerful driving forces. It’s the fear of not being good enough and shame of admitting our struggle that drives us into the arms of burnout in the first place. Comforted by the thought that we can just work harder, longer hours, that we need another certificate or qualification to make us safe, that the next promotion will mean we are good enough. Until we realise that these are lies we tell ourselves, like bribing a small child with a lollipop to keep quiet on the long journey ahead.
I first stumbled over the term burnout in the middle of yet another day at work where it had all been getting on top of me. I had arrived exhausted, no matter how much work I did the to do list never seemed to go anywhere but up and as all my exhaustion and fears and doubts and anxieties rose to the surface, I ran to the toilet in tears.
I try to be more solutions focused and positive than not but occasionally I feel the need to put the record straight.
Almost daily I see people sharing ‘solutions’ to burnout that, from experience and research, I know just don’t work, or at least don’t work in isolation. I know the temptation to hit on the latest new fashionable ‘thing’ or to try something completely different in order to ‘fix’ our problems; we are all looking for a simple fix, a tablet to take or a reset button to hit.
However, if it was that simple - well you would have fixed it long ago!
So, here are 5 ‘solutions’ to burnout that just don’t work, and why…
Just a week after International Mental Health Day and all the ‘it’s ok not to be ok’ talk has pretty much died away.
The catchphrase for what feels like years now has been ‘it’s ok not to be ok’, encouraging us to talk, to share our struggles, to tell the truth. Is it really true though? Is it ok not to be ok?
A friend said this to me this week when we talked about emotional literacy. Because here’s the thing.
Yes, imposter syndrome, shame and fear is strong within most of us, the perfectionist tendencies driving us toward overworking, overachieving and under-caring for ourselves. Yes, we worry about what our struggle means to us.
However, there is a very large chasm between admitting the full truth of our fears and how we feel, and telling others that we are struggling. Most of us have admitted, in some form or another, that we are not ok.
I have never pretended that this burnout thing is easy. In point of fact, I believe that there is a special circle in hell for the people who sell simple, 6 step solutions online that promise the world and deliver about as much wisdom as your average fortune cookie.
I have never pretended that it is easy, I’ve never tried to sell you a simple solution. Burnout is a real life choose your own adventure novel, with many different pieces that slot together for each individual’s story. A touch more imposter syndrome here, a struggle with responsibility and shame there…. what I do is shine the light on all the different areas that could have come together to cause your current struggles.
So here’s one of mine.
I have been putting this off all day. On past WMH Days I have talked about my own experience of anxiety and depression at work, secretively taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication, about the times I’ve been told to keep my struggles quiet.
Those days were easier than today. Talking about suicide is inherently difficult, for all the reasons we already know. But there is something that I want to add to the conversation and that might just make me the most selfish bitch going.
