Let me take you back five years or so. I was working as a lawyer in a demanding, difficulty and often dramatic area of law.
I had qualified as a lawyer after a long hard slog, nearly £30k in private loans to complete my post graduate degree on top of my undergraduate degree loans. It had taken 6 years of paying my dues and, along the way, I had done *everything* to make myself invaluable.
Working a minimum wage paralegal job with a second job at a cinema to pay the bills - check.
Working through my lunches, late in to the evening and assisting everyone around me that I could? Check
Working a second job at the first job so I could spend time with more senior lawyers and be considered a team player? Check
Coming in sick, shuffling through the office barely able to move after a back injury and cancelling holiday to hit targets - check.
It’s 2020, we’ve all been conducted reviews of what went well, or not so well in 2019 (if you haven’t done this review yet and want to take a peek at the 21 Questions I’m Asking Myself for 2020 free pdf download, then click here to join my free Facebook group and grab your copy!)and one of the things I’ve been looking at is the books that I’ve read.
It’s a surprise to absolutely no-one that knows me that I am a bookworm, a researcher extraordinaire and the user of ridiculously complex words for effect (see extraordinaire above). One of the things that I most struggled with when I realised ‘burnout’ was a term that applied to me, was finding other people that had also experienced this struggle, an understanding of how to get myself back out of it.
Here are the books I read in 2019 that had the biggest impact on me, and might do on you too.
Why is it so important to be in integrity? It’s not a concept we consider all that much until our integrity is challenged, and there is no punch to the gut quite like it. I have had my integrity challenged a few times this year, the last of which occurred only a couple of hours ago, but integrity, liked other important but not quite sexy words like candour, resilient and consistency, is central to the burnout story and the work I do.
First up, what does integrity mean to you?
I love data.
I also know just how easily it can be manipulated. See ‘lawyer’ above.
My job was to see things from as many perspectives as possible; to hear my client’s story, the other side’s story, to read the story the independent evidence and the witnesses told me, throw it all in a cauldron and brew up the best and worst case scenarios and switch between the two, advancing the best case to the other side whilst managing my client’s expectations with the worst case and dancing along a tightrope for each of them.
I know all too well how data can be manipulated. How words can be twisted, how ‘facts’ can become ‘fake news’ by throwing a little shade on them.
Do you feel exhausted just reading this? Because I kind of do.
Whether you are a lawyer or a teacher, a medical professional or a marketeer, our lives are never lived in straight and easy lines. We are near-constantly dancing on a tightrope that’s a little too slack, spinning plates all around us until we no longer know which way is up.
So we look to the data.
I’m writing this from my bed on a Saturday afternoon. Not that the location matters, but for days now I’ve been down sick and naturally, when I slow down I start reflecting.
The last month has been… I think intense is probably the best word to describe it. I think ‘intense’ is a pretty accurate word to describe me, full stop, end of! I know I’m not always easy to be around, I’m definitely not easy to live with and I have a tendency for extremes, so it seems pretty accurate. Sound familiar?
Part of me feels self indulgent and tiny bit narcissistic, but that often happens when I slow down. I get into my head and start doubting myself, second guessing what I’m doing instead of just trusting. Again, if you’re ready this that is probably familiar. So I’m framing this whole blog as a ‘how to’ guide for what I do when the sh- hits the fan, when it gets more busy than you anticipated or just how to pick yourself back up when you’ve had a knock.
