I feel like I need to preface this blog with the unfortunate truth that, even all these years into my burnout and imposter syndrome journey, life is not perfect. I’m not always on top of things. I’m not always healthy. I still often feel like I’m flying by the seat of my pants but it’s more exhilarating than terrifying. Most of the time at least.
I’m sorry, I would love to give you the magic button solution but I’ve yet to become a charlatan.
So here’s the thing.
The last week or so has been an exercise in being put through the washing machine on the spin cycle and then shoved into a tumble drier and set on fire.
Busy diaries and self imposed deadlines, Illness, fevers on the most humid days of the year, followed by a couple of days of acute sleep problems, quickly followed by a very unexpected piece of news that yeah, is good on the balance of all things, but came with a whole load of baggage followed by some other stuff and well. Shit. Ugh.
Some days you’re the windshield and some days you’re the bug.
If you’re anything how I used to feel, you feel like a squished bug a good amount of the time.
You don’t just feel like a bug that got caught on a windshield, you feel like an entire gang of people are hunting you down and taking turns at smashing you with baseball bats.
It hurts. It really fucking hurts. Particularly when you’re trying to show up and help and make a difference and want to make a difference and be liked.
And you realise that you’ve been so damned entrenched in the doing and the behaving and the falling in to the line and the I’ll take on the crap jobs so no-one else has to…
That you forgot to advocate for yourself. Forgot about what YOU needed in order to feel good enough day to day.
We all fall into the this slide and yes, sometimes life necessitates it or it just happens; if you fall ill or have a couple of days of bad sleep or something arrives out of the blue then these are going to knock you. And that’s ok.
Because you’re resilient.
Yep, that word. Resilient. The rubber ball factor.
That thing that you feel like you once had. Remember that?
Well, whether you’ve just had a bad day, or a bad week or a bad life so far, I want to remind you that resilience is always there for you to pick up and run with.
Resilience is not something that you are born with - it’s a learned behaviour.
Resilience is not something that you need to wait for others to provide you with, you can start wherever you are.
Resilience does not mean continuing to beat yourself up, letting yourself be trampled on or continuing to choose the things that hurt you.
Resilience also does not require you to get loud or aggressive. A firm yet gentle ‘no’ does as much for resilience, if not more, than painting a banner and waving it for all to see.
Resilience simply requires you to value yourself.
It requires you to know that your reasons are good and you’re ok.
It requires you to get in to action and to keep moving forward - ruminate and cogitate and moan and whine all you want, but it does sweet f-a for your resilience.
Resilience requires you to stop blaming or shaming yourself, get out of victim mode and just… stand up.
Sometimes the simple act of saying ‘well, that was crap. What’s for tea?’ is resilience.
Because underneath it all, resilience is more than just being. It’s the faith that we can do better. That we can get up, and get going and hope for a better outcome than last time.
It’s the belief in our ability to learn.
it’s the belief in our ability to create a better outcome.
It’s the belief that, no matter what, I can do better.
Resilience is courage.
Resilience is hope.
Resilience is smiling at yourself when you got it wrong.
Once you’ve taken that first step, the rest is fairly easy.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re the windshield or the bug… it only matters that you believe you can be more.
PS What are you doing on Sunday 13th October midday to 5pm?
Trick question; you're going to be spending it with me in central Birmingham, in a beautiful room filled with good coffee, great food and even better people, focusing on resilience and happiness.
And, when you reserve your place between now and 13th August, you can spread the cost over three payments of £15 each.
It's ridiculous, I've never been able to price an event like this before!